paranoia vs coincidence

i don't know how to explain this thing that i've had experienced few times. and i don't know the terms that they call referring to what i could only describe based on 'org tua kata'...

the first time was when i visited a cousin's hubby whose life depends on those little tubes and machines. both livers were failing and he was warded and bedridden for the past few months. at first i sensed that the machine beeping sounds became louder, and louder and until at one point all i could hear was a buzzing sound, filling both my ear drums, until i couldn't even hear my own voice. i'd say what i hear was 'dengung'. i was panic. was i going to die? i thought to myself.

i quickly went out from the ward, sit on a long chair, tried to cough one two times, still can't get rid of those noises. i tried to say AHHH loudly..still can't hear. eh? what's happening to me? being panic and not knowing what to do (and believing i was going to die, really) i said khalimah syahadah! that close to choke on my own breath! soon, the noises subsided and i could listen to the world, back to reality... thank god.. i'm still alive! pheww!!

2 days after that, the husband died. but this thing that i heard didn't stop there.

many months after that 1st incident, i was happy eating my lunch at the pantry. suddenly the same buzzing sound came.. alamak.. i became uneasy.. 'ya allah..aku tak nak dengar bunyi nih..hilangkan lah bunyi nih..amiin' about half and hour later, mak called telling me that her cousin whom i called angah midah just passed away. suspense nyaaa! told mak about the bunyi dengung that i heard. mak said arwah's leaf must have came in contact with mine. am sorry if you guys find this funny/unreal. btw you all pernah dengar tak? that we have this one pokok.. with our names represented by the leaves.. so if the leaf drops, means that we'll no longer in this world but into alam barzakh.. anybody knows the name of the tree? please tell me ok?

nway, many months later, tiba² i dengar the sound again. mphh silently i prayed that it was just my imagination..nothing will happen.. the worst part was that those who are close to me are all doing great.. i mean,no one was sick or anything, so i was very afraid that this gonna be another sign that god sent me.. every now and then i will hear this sound but sekejap² je.. and the intensity was low. deep down i pray that alif will live longer, so that he could learn more, and let me help him to guide until he's old enough to understand what life is all about. and if i were to wake up at nights, i'd kiss alif sepuas hati.. takut Allah lebih sayang dia, na'uzubillah. talking about paranoia..

but i was very surprised when it was opah who was staying with my inlaw died. i knew it! it must be someone very close to me/ related to me. and last saturday i thought i heard the sound..but for few seconds.. guess what? the next day my brother told me about the demise of my neighbour.. argh.. isn't it strange? or just mere coincidence??

you all pernah involve ngan x-files camnih tak? please share. am getting more paranoid now. help!!