prayers to a friend

i wanted to write about my friend who'd lost her 39 wks old unborn child since this morning, but i'm running out of words. it affected it so much, maybe because i had become a mother myself or maybe because i was well updated of her progress, her ongoing puke over first trimester, of FIL who'd cook anything that comes across her mind so that she'd eat properly.

A & S got married in june last year. and few months after that, A got pregnant. but the first trimester was difficult with morning sickness and losing appetite. little i knew that A had gained 23 kilos over the 39th weeks!!

i'd look forward to getting her call/sms/email over how it'd be during berpantang, where should she berpantang, things & considerations that she has to take into accounts before making decision where to have her confinement.

talking about agony of waiting. i knew she was going to get a boy, so she said alif will have a new friend. and i cannot wait to get the good news. sometimes, i'd just ring her, she'd pick up and laugh 'belum lagii!' haha yes the kepochi me. 'don't worry, apa² aku bagitau engkau', she said.

monday afternoon, i got an sms from A, telling that she's gonna be induced on friday. being excited i called her, we talked and laughed for nearly half an hour. from the conversation, i knew that baby was already 3.8 kg during last friday checkup. i prayed for her to have a smooth & safe normal delivery, cause i thought the baby was big (compared to alif who was only 2.51kg). i remembered she was worried cos baby was less active. i was reasoning back that space was limited thus baby'd move less. we ended the phone call happily.

at 10.30 pm, i reached my so-called-weekend home and the phone was ringing. 3 missed calls and 1 sms from A. 'rad, bad news.. aku baru hilang anak aku..'. innalillah... i called A immediately and was so heartbroken hearing her sobbing at the end of the phone; telling processes the gynae made her undergo to check her (& baby) thoroughly. yes, Allah has other plan for her dead unborn child. i was crying myself, no matter how tried i control the tears. knowing her in a fragile state, of course i did not want to ask further, afraid i might be asking a wrong Q that might made her more sad than she already was.

yesterday i visited A, luckily alif was asleep in the car cos hubby refuse to bring alif along into the ward. so i came in alone. A was in better state than i thought, with hubby S at her side. i know A is in good hands, S is very supportive plus her mak & siblings are around too. but not wanting to sibuk², i left A just before she went to see the gynae. her 1st induce jab seemed not working, so gynae wanted to give another jab. i hugged A tighly, she cried on my shoulder. i rubbed her back, trying to console her while holding back my tears.

this morning on the way to office, got an sms from A

alhamdulillah aku selamat melahirkan seorang anak yg sedang menunggu papa dan mamanya di syurga, MUHAMMAD @KIF BIN R@SHIDI seberat 3.9kg. jam 2 pagi tadi di ****. Jenazah pembawa kegirangan dan kebahagiaan kami sekeluarga ini akan dikebumikan si kg sement@, klang pada hari ini..

al fatihah..

semoga Allah berikan kekuatan kepada A & S untuk menghadapi dugaan ini. semoga Allah cucuri roh arwah akif amiin